once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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