it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
