After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
