So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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