PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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