My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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