They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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