hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
