I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
