respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
