arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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