lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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