the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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