i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
