i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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