he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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