it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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