we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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