I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
