so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
