there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Buhtt sex?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
