i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
