1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
