I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
