I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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