Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Randomize
