He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
