forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
