The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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