Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize