He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
