sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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