dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
