okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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