I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
