How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
