I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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