youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
