so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
