all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
