I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
