it hurts more in the daytime
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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