so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
