I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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