oh god the rape fog is back!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
