Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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