i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
