Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
