i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
