Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
