i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
