I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
