Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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