I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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