No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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