that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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