you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
