we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Randomize
